RULE #1: No matter what you eat, if no one sees you eat it –
it doesn’t contain any calories!
RULE #2: If you drink a diet drink with a candy bar, they cancel out
each other. PLEASE NOTE: This works only if the two items are purchased
at exactly the same time and the cashier looks at you funny.
RULE #3: When you’re eating at a restaurant with another person,
if you both order the exact same thing – the calories cancel each other out.
PLEASE NOTE: This works only if you both order and eat dessert.
RULE #4: Foods used for “medicinal” reasons never count. For example,
hot chocolate, pizza, and bagels. PLEASE NOTE: Anything eaten after
11:00 PM falls into this category.
RULE #5: If you go to a fast food drive-through and eat while you’re driving –
the calories don’t count. PLEASE NOTE: This works only if you’re the person
driving the car.
RULE #6: Foods consumed at movie theatres don’t contain any calories because your body realizes that these foods are part of the “entertainment experience.” Among these foods are –
Milk Duds, popcorn, and any type of licorice. PLEASE NOTE: This works only if the popcorn is heavily buttered.
RULE #7: Any frozen foods (like Sara Lee products) that are eaten before they are totally thawed contain no calories. PLEASE NOTE: Scientists have discovered this works
because the calories haven’t waken up yet.
