Wednesday, January 14, 2009


RULE #1: No matter what you eat, if no one sees you eat it –

it doesn’t contain any calories!

RULE #2: If you drink a diet drink with a candy bar, they cancel out

each other. PLEASE NOTE: This works only if the two items are purchased

at exactly the same time and the cashier looks at you funny.

RULE #3: When you’re eating at a restaurant with another person,

if you both order the exact same thing – the calories cancel each other out.

PLEASE NOTE: This works only if you both order and eat dessert.

RULE #4: Foods used for “medicinal” reasons never count. For example,

hot chocolate, pizza, and bagels. PLEASE NOTE: Anything eaten after

11:00 PM falls into this category.

RULE #5: If you go to a fast food drive-through and eat while you’re driving –

the calories don’t count. PLEASE NOTE: This works only if you’re the person

driving the car.

RULE #6: Foods consumed at movie theatres don’t contain any calories because your body realizes that these foods are part of the “entertainment experience.” Among these foods are –

Milk Duds, popcorn, and any type of licorice. PLEASE NOTE: This works only if the popcorn is heavily buttered.

RULE #7: Any frozen foods (like Sara Lee products) that are eaten before they are totally thawed contain no calories. PLEASE NOTE: Scientists have discovered this works

because the calories haven’t waken up yet.